Thursday, July 1, 2010

BrewCats Mark 2!

Yes, I realize that we're in need of some new brewy content, but recent events have led your favorite Brewmasters to be buried under piles of paperwork the likes of which you've never seen. For now, enjoy BrewCats, and future brewy news shall be your forthcoming reward.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Surprise! It's a Scottish Ale!!!

Then hamster wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer.
Guess what tastemasters - we've a new brew in town! I know what you're thinking..."Does England really have a shot in the Cup anymore after only showing a B- game against the yanks?" You're probably thinking that 'cause you're so in the mood for our new delicious, wedding-special Scottish Ale! While we would never normally hold out on you for so long, denying you the hilarious exploits of our ridiculous adventures through brewing, Brewmaster Marshall and I had to keep this puppy under wraps because it was a special wedding surprise for my 'lil bro.
Surprise! You're not getting any more wedding gifts from us! But for realsies, Brewmaster Eric went all out on this one kids - starting with a standard Scottish Ale recipe, the geniuses at HQ tinkered with the grain profile AND the hops in order to create a beer that was both deliciously beery but that mirrored the standard flavor profile of Scotch. The result? Well upon gifting the first installment of brew to Weddingmaster Michael, our initial sips showed some serious signs of progress! It's peaty... it's woody... it's extremely alcoholic at a powerful 6.7% ABV. Now THAT's something to celebrate.
While the full flavor takes another few months to really settle in, the Scottish Wedding Ale marks some of the EVBC's first real forays into completely re-jiggering a recipe and receiving some solid results. We're stock-piling this goodness to let the flavor come together and so that we have extra umph at our next Poppin Bottles party (date undetermined). Lucky for you guys, our faithful tastemasters, I gave the silly hamster a bottle of leftover Bellhaven instead of our ridiculously limited run of just 16 beers. Get those requests for a taste in early - they're selling like Scottish hot cakes (read: haggus and maple syrup). Yum!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Monday, June 7, 2010

It's getting hops in here

"If you can't stand the heat, get out of the East Village." Anonymous
Dude. It's warm in here. I mean, it's really damn hot. Brewmaster Eric has realized that the greatest enemy to the safety of the beer at EVBC at HQ might in fact be our Con Ed bill. As the mercury pushed its way northward this past weekend, HQ experienced it's first "pants optional" afternoon, as I found it near impossible to stay either awake or clothed in my only partially air conditioned apartment. The deadly combination of a small a/c unit in the bedroom (where non-beer magic happens) and a dearth of effective blinds in the kitchen and front rooms (where the beer magic happens) led me to create a vortex of desk fans to keep our current brews at usable temperature.
So far, friends and well-wishers, we've made it through unscathed. However as the summer promises to steadily march forward in its unwavering mission to fry my brain and destroy our delicious beers, we must investigate our options to keep the beer at safe fermenting temperatures in the future. The awesomeness of your delicious 1st St Wheat depends on it! That's right, as promised, Brewmaster Marshall and I are returning to our fan favorite in order to win back your love and approval. While B.M. has a few dozen hobbies at any given time that he employs to show off his personal value to the world, I'm left merely with bawdy limmericks and brewing. And frankly, my latests brews cannot be saved by even the bawdiest of limmericks. Luckily, I've already began eyeing a space in the corner near the a/c that'll keep a delightful summer brew safely fermenting for the coming months, and we'll all be the better off for it.
Any special flavoring requests from the peanut gallery?

Friday, June 4, 2010

Pardon our dust

"He who moves not forward, goes backward." Goethe
That's right kids! Despite the crushing sadness that a lack of EVBC update posts has caused you over the past two weeks, it is time finally to let us back into your hearts and minds. Don't question where we've been...ask yourself, "where are we going?" The answer of course is: TO THE FUTURE!!!

According to Neil Diamond, the future is now. Far be it from me to tell Jewish Elvis he's wrong, so let's celebrate the grand re-opening of the East Village Brewing Company at it's brandnew flagship location at 6th and A. Convenient to the park, above an overpriced Asian market with a wicked beer selection, and just steps away from numerous drinking holes, our new digs offer all the creature comforts of our last brewery but with an alarmingly limited amount of counter-space.

Your patience, tastemasters, will assuredly be soon rewarded! Brewmaster Marshall and I had decided a short while back that to celebrate our sweet new central-East Village locale, we're gonna revisit the fan favorite 1st St Wheat. You like coriander? We got it. Orange peel? Covered. A delicate softness that can come only from the finest of wheat extracts? Fucking yeah we did.
B.M. and I will be having another board meeting soon to set a Brewmaggedon date. If'n you're interested in the brewing process or basically just want an excuse to day drink, keep an eye out for brewy updates on when it's all going down! Next to Superbowl Sunday, Christmas Morning and Arbor Day, Brewmaggedon is the single greatest holiday known to man - don't miss it.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Lessons Unlearned

"The measure of a man is what he does with beer floats." Plato
What a weekend...I don't know about you, tastemasters, but Brewmasters Marshall and Eric took a low key evening of beer floats and somehow let it get out of hand. Sure, we were mildly concerned when at first only 4 people showed up to our awesome stout and frozen treats party last Saturday (three of which lived at HQ, the other of which was Brewmaster Marshall). Sure, we spent most of the party playing music on mini-tambourines and maracas while watching Teen Wolf 2 on mute. But we soldiered on...besides, what could be better than 4 gallons of ice cream and 2 cases of chilled out stout?
Nearly anything, ultimately was the answer. The EVBC learned some valuable lessons about the art of brewing merely by watching the guests craft careful excuses about why they weren't drinking beer floats. "I'm watching my figure," said one particularly svelt looking party guest. "I'm lactose intolerant," said another, playing upon Brewmaster Eric's heartstrings like the finely tuned Stradivarius it is. "Um... it's not kosher..." sputtered a particularly goyish looking Latin fellow, arousing suspicion that perhaps all the guys were dodging telling us the truth.
The truth of course being that beer floats are gross.
People straight up don't want beer floats. Hell I think even ROOT beer floats push the line of good taste to its breaking point. You know how when you're a kid you think they're awesome but now you don't drink them much anymore? That's cause they're fucking gross. Kids will eat 14 pixie sticks and then puke because they're so excited to see SpongeBob Squarepants that they simply can't help themselves...why in gods name are you listening to kids? Pretend as you will, chic jean'd hipsterati, that you're enjoying that oatmeal stout float after you down a locally raised grass fed tofurkey, swimming au jus in its own sense of self-importance. We've proven scientifically that it's all crap. Down at HQ we're happy to go forward having never again to wonder what that beer float on the dessert menu will be like and if we're better off ordering the apple crisp. We know we're better off ordering the apple crisp. And with all our leftover ice cream from the weekend, we're a la moding that bad boy all the way to the bank.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

To (list)Serv Man...

I'm right on top of that, Rose!

Somewhere between hitting refresh on my fantasy baseball homepage every 14 seconds and obsessively trying to get to the second world in Angry Birds on my iphone, I find that I get an email that draws my attention upward towards my monitor with some immediate demand for attention. "Well you are at work," you might offer, assuming incorrectly that I meant a work email that demanded an attentive response. You'd be dreadfully mistaken.

No, in fact, I have found myself signed up for no less than 5 separate beer and brewing related listservs. Over the past couple months, I whipped myself into a frenzy with the dream of running away from my day to day job and entering the heady world of professional of course, the only logical thing to do then was to gather information until my brain was so jam packed with useful knowledge that I'd be turning down offers from Sam Adams and Miller Brewing alike. Instead, what I've found is that my gmail inbox gets slammed by a variety of hits everyday, ranging from useful "how to keep your fermenter cool in the summer" strings to slightly less useful "house party at Cincinnati brewery next week." Granted, it's my fault for joining an Ohio based listserv, but still... one cannot be blamed for seeking knowledge.

Everytime my phone jostles against my desk, creating that light fuzzy rumbling that means I've either gotten an important text or someone is spamming me with Viagra sales offers, I find myself cursing my over aggressive listserv signups. The real winner listserv is hands down the New York City Homebrewers Guild which continually puts out some awesome info on how to fix broken batches, or even where you can get some free carboys around the city. They're super interactive and good at geting some info out there in a hurry. Other than that, save your disk space I'd say.

Going forward, tastemasters, I suggest signing up just for that one listserv if you're in desperate want of brewy knowledge. The continual stream of random "have you seen my gasket"'s I've been sifting through shall serve as an electronic albatros to us all. In your zeal for joining organizations, try to show some self restraint.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Don't mess with a brewmaster

Don't mess with a brewmaster when he's not in the mood
he'll sick the hounds of hell on you if he don't like your 'tude
he likes his ale temps steady and he likes his limmericks lewd
but if you mishandle either man he'll jack you up but good
Don't mess with a brewmaster while he's enjoying sports
your scathing"you're still watching this?" is hardly a retort
for when his team is losing best expect his temper short
and with your social norms you cant expect him to comport
Don't mess with a brewmaster when he's been drinking beers
you think you have the jump on him as he wipes off those tears
that were brought on by so drunkenly recounting all his fears
about how he mispitched yeast or how his lagers not quite clear

Friday, April 30, 2010

National Homebrewers Day 2010!

That's right, as part of National Homebrewers Day 2010, home brewers around the country will be setting up massive brew-ins the likes of which you've never seen before! Check out the various fun activites like this Big Brew fundraiser out in Greenpoint!!
Happy weekend, tastemasters!

Monday, April 26, 2010

Poppin' Floats Party Contemplated, Deemed Delicious

Brewmaster Eric sports a similar look when he gets Stogo in his beard.

That's right, tastemasters - the EVBC has finally come to the delicious conclusion that we need to host another poppin' bottles party. Brewmaster Marshall can't get enough of the buzz on our E. Vil. Empire stout floats, and with the imminent completion of our chocolate stout we're gearing up for a dessert party of epic proportions. Months of preparations and near failures have led us to this delectable moment and we want you all there - tentative diabetes inducing sugar rush date - May 1415 or May 21/22!

Yes friends, it's been far too long since we spent weeks upon weeks perfecting and creating our brews only to give them away in a vain effort to purchase your fan loyalty. I credit our facebook fanpage's failure to explosively grow in popularity due to the fact that we (1) aren't really much of a brewery and (2) fail to actually put products into the market stream. Well that shit changes today. Well, in two weeks. Ok more like two and a half weeks... but the point is, we're gettin fuschnookered on ice cream floats, and so are you!

Cookies? We'll have em. Lactose free options? You know it. Fritos? Damn skippy, cause I got like 60 bags left over from my birthday party (esoterically misguided in its humour but perfectly divine in its execution). Good friends? Well that's where you guys come in. Of course we'll have further updates as the date approaches, but keep your calendars open. I'm thinking we overload on sweets then try to go start fights at a local dive bar. Nothin says badass like a stout float stache.